How to be a Glamorous Mama!

God I wish I knew!

I’m sorry that I tricked you… but honestly, if you figure it out… TELL ME

This post is more about comforting you 🤗

This is something I always thought I would be. Like so many other things I thought about motherhood haha. I do NOT condone telling a new mum-to-be she is naive because that totally ruins her magic. So please don’t do that.

But the only option is to be a little naive. You can never know until you have experienced it. It’s a fact. She will learn & she will grow 🥰

I’ll never forget the way I felt when Mila was a newborn. I felt disgusting. Like I’d been rolling around in mud & had to stay that way.

(That was a metaphor I wasn’t actually dirty btw) 🤷🏽‍♀️🙊

• My foofy was bleeding like never before from the placenta wound, therefore was basically wearing a nappy 24/7

• My boobs were rock hard & dripping milk so even with my nursing pads I’d wake up with wet shirts

• I had a saggy belly from birth that looked like I was still pregnant (seriously, I had a real panic attack at the supermarket the day after she was born because I didn’t want to see anyone I knew, & have them say, how far are you 😖)

• I had stitches & a graze downstairs so it was hurting to pee the first couple of days

• I had accumulated an anal fissure from birth. Sucks, but it could have been worse

• The bags under my eyes were next lev & although I genetically have them, they were much worse than usual & I didn’t have the energy to cover them up. Didn’t help that I was crying every time I breast fed, sometime because it hurt, but most because I just loved her so much I was that overwhelmed.

So yeah… was feelin’ real cute 💁🏽‍♀️😂

I felt like I was never going to feel like a woman ever again. But over time my confidence has slowly started to come back.

• I’ve had my first period since birth realigning my hormones - even though sometimes I don’t feel like they have 🤪

• My boobs have adjusted to their demand - although I start my day with perky full boobs & end it with orangutang titties 🦧 & unfortunately have dropped a little too much & now I need formula top ups twice a day.

• I’ve started exercising consistently again - still a long way to go LONG! But I feel much better mentally - & omg swimming laps 🤤🏊🏼‍♀️

• Anal fissure still present 😒 - I’ve been on laxitives since she was about 4 weeks - see unfortunate story below 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

• I have more energy to cover my eye bags 🙊

Unfortunate reality of an anal fissure!

(Google it to understand my pain, sorry in advance 😆)

As I mentioned I’ve been having to have laxatives to soften things. With the combination of breastfeeding & trying to soften the stool, I found it impossible 😩 even with pear & prune juice. So laxatives were my only option (note I was given the go ahead by my midwife while breastfeeding, so check with yours or a gp before use. I have been using dulcolax 🙂)

ANYWAY they’ve worked 🤭

To the point where I’ve had some very instant surprises 🙈 I’ve now shit myself twice (let’s be clear, just skidies 😅) & had to breastfeed on the loo while doing my biznaaas. Somehow I don’t think I’m the first to do both those things though 🙊 but how bloody upsetting.

For my friends, it won’t be surprising that I shared that info, for others, it might be a bit much… soz. WELCOME TO MY BLOG 😂

this is why you should never judge a mama, just incase she just shit herself too, she already feels like the world is against her 😆

& so ladies, for some this is what you potentially have to look forward to, just remember it is all worth it even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

For others, sis I’m right here with you 🥂

For the lucky ones, this is here to make you feel even better. Good on ya gal! 🙌🏽

This is only MY story

Always remember

Every woman is different

Every pregnancy is different

Every recovery is different

Every baby is different

Everyone is different

That’s what makes us beautiful ✨

Peace out homeslice honeys! ✌🏽

x x x x