How I Lost My Social Skills When Becoming a Mum

I guess it’s what every mum-to-be says they’re never going to do, I know I definitely did! Though losing your social skills & losing your friendships just comes in the bag of goodies that is becoming a Mum. Maybe not for all, but it definitely takes its toll.

I would consider myself to be a pretty social person, & I’m not going to lie, I love being the centre of attention! Which is good because I can be very confident, loud & take things too far sometimes 💁🏽‍♀️ I’m a Leo so I just feel like I’m living my truth. I have many acquaintances, friends, a few close friends & a small pool of besties.

1st Trimester

During my first tri I felt like I was somewhat maintaining friendships as I was still working with many of them. The first tri had caused a bit of an issue with one of my closest friends who didn’t really understand the whole 1st tri sickness/haziness situation & I feel like this particular event actually lead me to closing off to some people. I didn’t expect them to completely understand, but the lack of trying was what sucked. However, I have chosen to take from this that we were/are both on very different paths in our lives & that’s ok. I guess this one event had been the start of the social change. It was the first time I felt secluded because I had chosen to start a family.

I think the main reason for this is because I have many friends in my life that have not yet started their own families, therefore there is little relatability for either parties.

Although not many of my friends had started their own families, they were all still very happy & supportive for me (some eventually).

Trimester 2 & 3

Socially things were smooth sailing. Except alcohol was off the cards 😂, obviously. I still have a lot of friend circles that love to party, so this made the social life a little harder. Which is totally fine. But I hate being sober around drunk people. 1. I don’t have the patience for drunk people, 2. It makes me tired & 3. Fomo.

At times I would still push myself to go in order to maintain my social life.

But shit!

Pregnancy makes you tired! Especially when working 4-5 days a week. Sometimes you just gotta let it go & get into bed! & mannnnn did bed feel gooood!

Throughout the whole pregnancy baby brain was a thing so holding a conversation & remember words was often difficult which is kind of a big part socialising 🤷🏽‍♀️

One of the hardest things I think, particularly later in the pregnancy was talking to some of my friends & going to events, because conversations were only ever revolving around the baby. Yes I was so excited to be having this baby, but I was also a human outside this baby. I ended up dreading going to events because conversations were on repeat!

How far are you?

How are you feeling?

Is it a boy or a girl?

Do you have a name?

Are you excited? (I ended up fake smiling to this one because I was just so exhausted - obviously I was! 😆)

You look so good!

Not long now!

Do you feel ready?

Etc. etc.

I am definitely guilty of being this person before I had a baby. I thought it was endearing, which it totally is, but you don’t even realise how many people in the world have asked that pregnant lady before you. Give her a break, ask her how her day has been, what she’s been up to. This needs to also continue after baby is born. My friends are good at this one though 🥰

I have also found that since I’ve had a baby & spent A LOT of time on my own, I actually forgot how to hold a conversation, & listening has actually gotten harder, I often feel guilty for my delayed reaction & not looking invested in the conversation. IM SORRY! My brain is on fire 🔥 & not in a good way 😆

You may feel alone but don’t ever believe you are. Your friends might find it hard to relate to you & not know what activities you’re comfortable doing with a baby, but they are always there 🥰

I feel like replacing my usual social life for this beautiful baby is a pretty special swap 😍🥰

Love to you lonely Mamas!

It’s not so bad 🧡

Xx